I myself have heard these statements throughout my pregnancy when people found out I was having a girl. There are so many negative myths and old wives tales about having a girl. It seems that people cheer when they hear you are having a boy and give you a sympathetic pat on the back when they hear you’re having a girl. I’m so tired of these negative stereotypes and think it’s time to set the record straight. Having daughters is just as rewarding as having sons. Here are the top myths I heard during my pregnancy.
1. She’ll steal your beauty.
Sure, your body will be different. You’ll gain weight, have stretch marks, you’ll develop dark circles under your eyes, and so much more. Being pregnant isn’t easy and neither is bouncing back. Parenthood will also take its toll on you, that has nothing to do with the sex of your baby. Some women swear by this myth. But just as there are women that will say their bodies only changed for the worse when they had girls, so will some say for having boys. Stop with the baby girl shaming!
2. She’ll love daddy more.
So “daddy’s girl” is a thing. They’ll definitely have a special bond. That’s not to say you cannot have a special bond with your daughter too. There are tons of “mommy girls” or kids who just love their parents. There are so many things she can only tell you, just so long as you’re willing to listen and not yell or judge.
3. They’re trouble.
Have you noticed the minute you say “I’m expecting a girl” people gasp and say “uh oh, good luck!” Or similar things to that effect? As if it’s a curse. Not all girls are the same and I’m sure we all know some little boys that are…well…trouble. But there’s this standard that we hold girls to. People know how ridiculous it is and how hard it is to keep anyone at this standard. So, we already assume or fear that our daughters will be promiscuous, not innocent, or be tarnished in some other way. People say “uh oh” because they imagine this difficult task at hand for all parents raising girls, to hold on to their virtue, to protect them, and hold them at standards that men are not held to. You should want your daughter to be happy and healthy.
4. They’re high maintenance.
Not all girls are the same. I myself was a tomboy. I could care less about shopping, makeup, and all of that. As a kid I was always outside and entertaining myself. Boys can be just as high maintenance. It’s the pressure we put on girls, who eventually become women, that causes this level of “maintenance”. This “maintenance” is a reflection of the expectations we put on them and how we define beauty.
5. You have to be very strict.
Okay, ladies, be honest. The more strict our parents were just meant the more creative we got. We need to start raising girls that are smarter and not being so scared of them messing up. They should be a reflection of all the things we are teaching them. They’ll mess up, but it’s better for them to come to you with mistakes than to hide them. It’s better that they can ask questions rather than assume or worse, listen to their friends. Sure, we have to protect them but most importantly we have to show them how to make the right choices and trust that they will. Too often we don’t let girls gain trust. We just think we have to keep them locked up tight and under surveillance.
6. They’re more emotional.
That’s because we are taught it’s okay to cry, and you know what? It is. There’s a time and place for it. Boys are very emotional too, they just show it differently. They get emotional about sports or not getting their way. They can lash out when they feel threatened, jealous, or ignored.
7. They’re not as independent as boys.
Again, we do not let girls gain trust or freedom. Too often we try to keep a handle on them. Girls are smart. Girls are strong. They can be independent. We cannot wait until they are adults to suddenly loosen the ropes and let them free, while boys gain independence and freedom slowly but surely.
8. They’re not tough.
Really? I hate to throw the typical cards on the table but: periods, pregnancy, child birth. We’re made to be tough. Plus compare a women with a cold versus a man, we still get sh*t done!
9. You’ll butt heads.
Not all women are catty. Not all women will have trouble getting along. Your daughter is not your competitor or your replacement. You’ve had your time as a child, teen, and young lady. Now it is her turn. Root for her. Teach her to be a woman’s woman. Teach her to raise other women up by doing the same for her.
10. Boys love their moms more.
Yep, there are “Mamas boys”. And many moms with just boys may sigh in relief that they do not have daughters. Our bond with our children is special. Regardless of sex. It should not matter. Having a daughter though, it’s like watching your life unfold again. It’s like getting a second chance, this time to see if from the best seat in the house. You get to watch her journey that may be so similar to your own, just better, and smile in knowing you had a part in that.
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