motherhood

The truth about online “mommy” groups 

The truth about online mommy groups

So when I was pregnant I downloaded one, okay…ALL of the pregnancy tracking apps that are available. You know, the ones that give you day by day updates on all things baby. The ones that help you track your pregnancy. I discovered that there’s a whole new world in these apps. There are tons of groups ranging from what month you’re due, where you’re from, or your interests. There’s a group for everything, breastfeeding support, preemies, stay at home moms, and the list is never ending. I’ve also discovered these groups have duplicated and appeared on social media platforms as well. There are Facebook groups. So, this is great right? There’s support for moms and moms to be at the click of a button. Yeah, if only! If it seems too good to be true, it is. I’m in shock at how these groups are conducted and what goes on in them. I haven’t seen drama like this since high school. Actually, it’s worse than high school. Let me get to it. 
5 ridiculous facts about online mommy groups.

1. Who’s the boss.

So these groups are usually run by one or more women. They take their power seriously! Though primarily they are supposed to make sure we all “get along” they’re usually the ones bullying other users. They act like the police. They’re drunk with power. They have to approve posts, comments, and pictures. It makes sense, to prevent advertising or anything deemed disturbing from popping up on our timelines, but they are so drunk with power they sometimes disapprove of posts they just don’t agree with. I’ve seen them gang up on other women if they disagree about something really small. They’ve even brought their kids into some arguments. Some admins (as these “bosses” are called) encourage other group members to taunt someone they no longer want in the group. It’s like modern day “Mean Girls”.

2. Politically correct.

You think the country is divided? Ha! You should see how many women go at each other’s throats in these groups. You can’t compliment anyone with our offending another. You’re told to openly ask questions or share information but all you’re doing is opening yourself up to criticism. You have to say things like “trigger warning” if you think your posts will offend anyone, which news flash it always offends someone! I literally can’t think of a post that won’t start a comment war.

3. Off topic.

The group could be about breastfeeding or homemade baby food and some how it’ll always turn into a group to vent about men. Women complaining about cheating spouses or women confessing that they themselves are cheating. Then *cue dramatic music* someone will screenshot conversations and “out” these women. Then an all out war ensues. One group I was in, a woman was venting about her mother and someone from the group sent the entire post to this women’s mother. Or so the story goes. I don’t even know if it was just an attempt to get attention. 

4. Stealing babies.

Okay, not literally. Well I hope not. But not once, not twice, but more times than I can count someone has caught another group member of using baby pictures that were not their own. Some women are “trolling” in these groups, pretending that their children are sick. They’re using pictures of babies that are not theirs. Which is why I’m always wary of sharing pictures of my daughter in general. These women come up with elaborate stories and even have pictures to go along with a completely made up lie. It’s like “Catfish” but with babies!

5. Dating site?

As I mentioned before, a lot of these groups deal with cheating. Women will seek advice for their cheating husband’s or confess that they cheated. But that’s not all. Some groups, the ones that allow both men and women, have become more like a secret dating service. People will posts subliminal messages or some are just upfront and are openly looking for someone to start an affair with. So, think again about that “Parenting” or “Marriage” group that your spouse spends so much time in. You may think they are seeking advice or information, but they’re some crazy things going on in there instead.

Now, I’m not saying this is every group. But I’ve joined quite a few to have open discussions for my blog and also to promote my blog, but what I ended up discovering was shocking. It’s really weird actually. I guess it’s been so long since the days of “chat rooms” if any of you are old enough to remember those online chat rooms, where people were shady and a bit odd, but I didn’t think grown adults would behave so much like kids. Excuse my rather plain and blunt way of writing this post, but I just had to vent about this. I’ve left the groups that have bullying or abusive behavior and feel sorry for anyone that goes in without thick skin. It’s like this weird back ally that you know you shouldn’t go down, but something lures you in that direction anyway. It never ends well. I’m kind of disappointed more so, that it’s usually the groups that are primarily for women. I hate that fact that the “catty” stereotype and the “women can’t get along” stigma, rings true in these groups. Are they just run by “mean girls”? Or unhappy people? I don’t know. How are the groups you are in? 

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