Good guys in the friend zone.
They say good guys finish last. And rumor has it that women like bad boys. All the guys we keep in the “friend-zone” are guys we say are “too nice” or “just like a brother”. Sound familiar? So, is it true? Do we keep good guys in the friend-zone? There’s definitely a certain type of guy we automatically friend-zone, but I don’t think it’s because we’re over looking their kindness or the fact that they’re “too nice”. Do you think you’re a good guy that keeps getting friend-zoned? Or are you a women accused of friend-zoning good guys? There’s a method to the madness. We friend-zone for more reasons than you might think. And it’s not because we’re intimated by a good man or because we want someone who will treat us wrong. Let me explain the reasons why we friend-zone “good guys”.
You would’ve chosen anyone.
Let’s come up with a typical scenario. Let’s say a woman is at a party and waiting on her friends to show up. She’s see’s a shy guy she casually knows, awkwardly looking around. He strikes up a convo and instead of being rude she has a friendly conversation with him. She’s kind to him. In fact, she’s actually very nice to him. They become friends. He develops feelings for her rather quickly but she only looks at him as a friend. He’s attentive, caring, and sweet. She’ll be called a tease or guilty of letting a “good one” go. Sound familiar? Maybe this has happened to you at school? Work? Social gathering? See, the problem is, we feel as if any girl that would’ve been nice to you would’ve had a chance. Your “affection” towards us is based on opportunity. Meaning, you would fall for any girl that gives you even a little hope. There’s nothing special about the girl in this scenario. If anyone struck up a conversion with this guy, he would’ve been smitten for her too.
We want a “romantic asshole”.
I’ve mention in a previous post (click here) that women want a “romantic asshole”. What I mean to say is we want someone who’s confident, kind, strong, and knows what he wants and goes after it. We don’t want someone that is all romance and no edge. Bad boys say all the right stuff but do all the wrong things. But good guys do all the right things but rarely say the right things. They’re usually too afraid to tell us how they really feel. Sure, romantic gestures are sweet but what I’m basically saying is we want someone who can write us a poem or send us flowers but also send us a dirty text or two while we’re at work. You get it? We want you to say all the things “bad boys” often say, but actually mean it.
We want to win your heart.
We don’t want a guy that falls for anyone. We know that you guys find many women attractive but very rarely find someone you fall in love with. “Nice guys” are infamous for falling for girls that just happen to be in their lives like their classmates, coworkers, or best friends. We want there to be a list a reasons why you chose us out of everyone else, not that you chose us because you couldn’t have anyone else.
You act like a friend.
Breaking news! Maybe we friend-zone guys because well, you act like our friends. Yes, great relationships are usually based on great friendships, but if it quacks like a duck then it’s probably a duck. Learning our favorite foods, music, and movies and waiting around for the “right moment” sometimes comes off weak. I’m sorry but we want a man to know what he wants. If you give off the impression that you want a friendship, that’s what you’ll get.
So, yes we do “friend-zone” some good guys. We’re not rejecting you because you’re too nice or too sweet. You’re just not ready. Or maybe you’re just not our type. Maybe we really are just better off being friends. I just want to set the record straight, we do fall for bad guys but not because we’re looking for trouble necessarily but because they’re usually confident. We fall for them because they say all the right things and are a challenge. I’m not saying you good guys need to ditch your wings and trade them in for horns and a pitch fork, but would it kill you to kiss our foreheads, send us flowers, and smack our ass on your way to work?