First time mom anxiety
First time moms are anxious. We plan, read, research, decorate, and begin nesting like crazy! But no matter how much we think we know there’s always mishaps along the way. Mom anxiety never really goes away, but there’s nothing like the first go at it. Here are my top 10 first time mom problems that kept me up at night more than my baby.
1. Driving myself crazy with theories about sleep.
I’ve read countless articles and blogs. I’ve asked every mom. I’ve looked up and researched every technique to the point where I was completely overwhelmed and lost. I tried early bedtimes, late bedtimes, tried cutting back on naps, tried extending naps, and either way the results were always inconclusive and inconsistent. I drove myself mad trying to figure out the magic formula to get her to sleep better.
2. Trying to find the perfect routine.
When she finally sleep well one night I drove myself crazy trying to recreate that day again. I tried to do everything the exact same way believing I discovered the “magic formula” for sleeping through the night. But nope. It was just a fluke.
3. Thinking there’s a certain milestone when it gets easier.
Everyone told me that 6 months was the magic number. At 6 months my daughter would sleep through the night or only wake once in a while. My husband and I eagerly awaited this magic month. We kept telling each other “we’re almost there” or “just a few more weeks”. Yeah right! It doesn’t work like that, for most of us at least. It’s up and down. There’s no magic day that they suddenly sleep 12 hours on their own with out some help. And there are ups and downs with leaps, teething, colds, and growth spurts.
4. Googling everything and freaking out.
She sneezed. Google. She blinked too much. Google. Her poop looks different. Google. With all the information out there you think you’d feel more calm. But instead everything sounds terrible and scary. Everything seems like an emergency. Before you know it you’ll diagnose your baby with a deadly disease only to find out later that it was just gas.
5. Being judged by more experienced moms instead of being helped.
Oh, if I had a dime for every time another mom said “I never did that” whenever I did what I had to do. I had to rock my daughter to sleep every night for months and moms would say that their children never needed to be rocked and that I was spoiling her. I also had to give a pacifier once in a while, especially after she got shots, and the judgement would roll in. Very rarely did I get useful advice from other moms. It was more likely that they would judge and compare how different my “mothering” was, not realizing my child is different. All of our children are.
6. Having buyers remorse.
I was always mad at myself for buying stupid items that I thought would help her sleep better, relieve gas, or make my life easier in some way only to discover it was complete garbage. Then I would get really mad that I forgot to return it or I was unable to, so I would stare at it angrily for months.
7. Putting silly things on my registry and regretting not putting more practical things.
Chances are you really could’ve used more bibs, diapers, or a damn swing so you could stop rocking until your arms fell off! Sorry…you get my point. We ended up making so many runs to the store for basic and necessary items that we overlooked.
8. Reading more than I ever did in college.
I read all the pregnancy and mom books and thought I had an advantage but I felt anxious and worried that I would never figure out this whole “mom thing”. There are so many theories and methods and some contradict each other. I felt like a failure every time I attempted to follow these books and it didn’t work out.
9. Back to the square one.
Almost immediately we were bombarded with questions about having another baby! I barely had a handle on the one I JUST had and now I was being asked if I was ready for number two.
10. Information overload.
I had so much information from the internet, friends, family, and doctors that I felt overwhelmed instead of informed. I tried to figure out who’s advice to take and went nuts when it ends up not going the way I hoped anyway.