The reality of 24/7 when you move in together.
Whether your dating, engaged, or married, moving in together is a huge step. But it seems that no one is really talking about how difficult that transition can be. Just because you’re in love, doesn’t mean living together will be a smooth transition. Whether you lived with your parents or on your own, it’s still different moving in and living 24/7 with someone you’re in love with.
I’m one of those people who technically never lived alone. But one of my lovely followers brought up a very different side. She had lived on her own for many years before living with her husband. Regardless if you’ve lived on your own or not, moving in with someone is still life changing. But, when you’re used to being on your own, it could be more challenging. Here are some of the issues couples face (including myself) that people rarely talk about. Comment below if you can relate or if I missed something.
“That means I couldn’t watch “Titanic” over and over in silence with a bag of chips.”
The reality of 24/7:
It may seem romantic at first, to finally wake up and go to bed together instead of sending “goodnight” texts or blowing kisses over the phone. But after a while, reality sinks in. Wait, this really is 24/7. Let me keep it real. When you live alone, you have so much privacy. You don’t have to explain yourself. When you live with someone you all of a sudden know when they have to take a crap and vice versa. You also feel the need to narrate everything you’re doing, like “I’m going to take a shower now” or “I’m going to the store”. Not because you’re in prison, but that’s just what you do when you live with someone. You have to adjust or compromise wake up and bedtimes. You have to give up a lot of “me time”. That means I couldn’t watch “Titanic” over and over in silence with a bag of chips. Or watch reruns of “Sex and the City” every chance I got. It also meant that just because I was having a bad day didn’t mean I could ignore everyone anymore. It’s rude. You now have to consider your new “roomy”. Everyone focuses on how annoying it is to discover your significant other is messy and you’re a neat freak or the fight over closet space, but it’s deeper than that.
It’s like kindergarten all over again, but worse. All of a sudden you have to share space in the refrigerator, closet, bathroom, and share the remote. Not too bad, right? You also have to share bills, chores, responsibilities, and make decisions as a team. How will you split the bills? What about chores? Will you ever have space by the bathroom sink again? Will he ever put the seat down? Will someone replace the damn toilet paper?
Before my husband and I lived together I could literally do a load of laundry once or twice a month. When he moved in, it was weekly sometimes twice. Before, the dishes could wait until the next day or so too, now the sink is full before I can blink. The chores have definitely tripled. It seems like we can barely go a week with out stopping at the grocery store whereas I went every 2 weeks before he moved in. It’s chaos trying to get it all together. I still haven’t figured out why we are always behind on laundry though. That thing grows by the minute.
“It takes more effort now that you live together to sustain romance.”
The honeymoon phase:
The first few months, though an adjustment, it still feels like the honeymoon phase. Even though our place was an absolute mess, I was in la-la land. Everything was romantic, like waking up next to each other or kissing goodnight. Even brushing our teeth together was cute. But eventually it will become routine. Things will just start becoming more casual. You’ll get used to each other and it’s easy to start acting like roommates instead of a couple. This is usually around the same time you both start complaining about each other’s habits that you did not notice before. Like, my husband chews super loud and murmurs in his sleep. And I always squeeze the toothpaste from the top (I know, I’m horrible) and I also almost never replace the toilet paper roll (I’m working on it). It takes more effort now that you live together to sustain romance.
So yeah, in a nutshell, moving in together can be rough. Even for “perfect couples”. It’s typical that one is usually messy and the other a neat freak or to fight over closet space. But what about the real things that you feel? It’s a big adjustment, to say the least. If it feels overwhelming, it’s normal. Though, now I can’t sleep unless my husband is next to me (even through his murmurs and tossing and turning) and even though we may drown in this never ending load of laundry, we found our way. What was the biggest adjustment for you? Comment below, I’d love to hear! Follow me on Facebook & Instagram!