It’s a common theme, joke, saying, whatever—to call women “crazy”. Everything can be blamed on us being crazy—being too emotional, being sensitive, being suspicious. I’ve even excused a lot of my behaviors, feelings, and thoughts on being crazy myself. How often have you said “sorry, I’m just being crazy” or how often has someone dismissed what you’re feeling by saying “you’re acting crazy right now”? I’ve made jokes about it, shared memes and quotes–I’ve encouraged the very idea that we’re irrational.
And admittedly, in a lot of ways, I am a little crazy. If we’re honest, I think we all are. There’s really no way to make it very far in life if you’re not a little broken or damaged. And sometimes we develop quirks during the healing process
But I began to wonder, if this association with being crazy and being a woman was actually more harmful than funny. And, I get sometimes it’s a great joke, and I’m not too sensitive to not be able to laugh at myself. But I’ve noticed that people can now use this “joke” or stereotype to really convince us, or themselves, to ignore what we are feeling.
Lately I’ve questioned my self a lot. Is that gut feeling I sometimes get, women’s intuition as I often call it, really just me being delusional? When I feel lonely, unloved, or unappreciated, am I just being too sensitive because I’m “crazy”? It’s common for men to devalue our emotions. And we are also taught to practice excusing or dismissing what we feel because we’re told it’s not real.
What I mean to say, is being expressive is being linked to insanity. Men are seen as the logical counterpart and we’re emotional.
Whatever we do, we’re quickly labeled as crazy. Women are said to overthink, over analyze, take things too seriously or to be overly sensitive. Down playing our emotions and putting it all under one category is a form of control.
There are two forms of crazy— the desired kind and the undesired type of crazy. It’s often said that “crazy” women are great lovers, that crazy women are passionate. That kind of crazy is acceptable. But whenever women express themselves in a way that a man does not like or understand that’s the undesirable type of crazy. Men try to control situations with one simple word “crazy”. If an argument isn’t in their favor that’s when the word gets pulled out and used as a weapon of defense. Whenever a man is being called out for something he has done or said, we get called crazy.
Let’s face it. Men are not taught to deal with their emotions. It’s not acceptable in our society for them to cry, express sadness, or to be sensitive. They’re encouraged to show anger, to be tough and strong.
They’re not taught to communicate and to be proactive but rather to be passive aggressive. So, when it comes time for them to deal with our emotions, they’re confused. They have no idea how to deal with their own emotions and therefore our emotions are irrational and threatening. When men call us crazy, it may seem like a simple act, but what they are doing is denying responsibility in a particular situation and instead putting all of the blame on us.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned the importance of maintenance in a relationship. Communication, honesty, respect, and quality time is of the upmost importance.
Whenever all of those are well maintained, I’m at my happiest and my best. So therefore, I have learned to express myself quickly and efficiently whenever I feel unsatisfied in any of these areas. This is not crazy. Being open and honest is not crazy. Don’t let someone “gas-light” you. If you’re unhappy, you have every right to bring it to your significant other’s attention. If you feel like something is wrong—speak up.
It’s common for women to be labeled negatively in our society and this is just another form of that. If a woman is assertive she’s “bitchy” or “bossy”. If a woman is caring she’s “clingy”.
And if we’re in tune with our feelings and try to communicate them, we’re crazy or emotionally unstable. In our society when a woman says “we need to talk” it’s like a dark cloud has risen and a storm is on the horizon. Because men are taught to flee instead of talking about their feelings. Don’t let this way of thinking shut you up. Don’t let your feelings get lost and classified as crazy. What you feel is what you feel. Don’t let someone’s inability to understand their own feelings cause you to deny your own.