Mistresses and affairs have been happening forever, this isn’t something new. But recently there’s been a wave of praise for being the “other woman” aka the side-chick. It’s a regular theme in music, televisions shows, and movies. It’s used so casually, we all just bop our heads and sing a long or make excuses for our favorite characters. Though I don’t think any woman wants to be cheated on, this idea of a “side-chick” is being popularized and normalized in pop culture. There’s two ways to look at a side-chick, you either think she’s an idiot/home wrecker or actually a genius, and honestly I haven’t figured out which side of the fence I’m on.
On one hand, I think to myself, side-chicks must have low self esteem. After all, who wants to be hidden, play second fiddle, or to just be an option? What kind of woman wants to be used primarily for sex and brief encounters? I start to wonder, hasn’t someone taught her self worth or self respect? But again, listening to “side-chick-praising” music and after watching television shows that romanticize such affairs, it’s hard to continue down that path or that way of thinking. What if side-chicks are actually on to something? Our society makes it seem like a vacation compared to marriage.
Who really has it worse? The wife who has no idea what her husband is doing or the side-chick who knows that he is not faithful to anyone? The common question being asked on social media: Does he love the one he lies to or the one he tells the truth to? Is it better to live happily in ignorance or to know the truth? Side-chicks today know their “lovers” are married. They know their place. As mentioned in the song “Weekend” by Sza, wives are the 9-5 and side-chicks are the weekend. In other words, marriage is like a job and the affair is like a party.
The lyrics are:
My man is my man is your man
Her, this her man too
My man is my man is your man
Her, that’s her man
Tuesday and Wednesday, Thursday and Friday
I just keep him satisfied through the weekend
You’re like 9 to 5, I’m the weekend
Make him lose his mind every weekend
You take Wednesday, Thursday
Then just send him my way
Think I got it covered for the weekend
This song is just one of many glamorizing the other woman. Side-chicks don’t have to cook, clean, take care of his children, contribute to bills, wonder where he is or what he’s doing. They don’t “let themselves go”. An affair is sexy, fun, exciting and always feels like the “honeymoon” phase. Our society is drilling this notion that being the “one on the side” is better. Being the side-chick is a lifestyle that’s increasingly becoming a popular choice. Why be a wife, if they’re not even respected? And for men, our society sympathizes with unhappy or unsatisfied men, like Ghost on Power or Fitz on Scandal.
We say things like “boys will be boys”. We expect men to cheat. We often blame the women. Have you denied him sex? Have you been neglecting to cook extravagant dinners and cater to your man? If not, cheating is your punishment.
As a wife, it’s scary knowing that there are so many women out there willing to be side-chicks. And it’s as though they’re doing a service. That it’s increasingly becoming more and more common for women to date men that are married, contently. For men this is the ultimate “have your cake and eat it too”. We have broken women down and convinced them that they only deserve broken, unsure,unattainable, love. Why give yourself completely when you can just give yourself in bits and pieces?
But are side-chicks able to give themselves in bits and pieces because they’re broken or because they’re happier?