Infidelity can absolutely ruin a relationship and leave you heartbroken, devastated, and completely confused. There are all these theories on why men cheat—-lack of sex, because they can’t help themselves, or boys will be boys. Women often blame themselves. It’s easy to think that you’re not good enough or perhaps you did something wrong. But, ladies, Jay-Z cheated on Beyoncé. Beyoncé!!! When a guy cheats, we always want to know why? And of course, they’ll offer a slew of answers when they have been caught but usually by that time they just want to be forgiven and so their reasons are well planned and rehearsed and far from the truth. So, I asked 10 guys for their reason for cheating on their wives. And they got brutally honest.
John, 33, married 12 years.
“My wife and I have been together since we were kids. It just seemed right at the time to get married to her. We were young and in love. But looking back now, we were too young. We got married when we were 20 and 21. Everything moved quickly after the wedding—full time jobs, kids, mortgage. We had to grow up fast. And now, it’s like we’re completely different people. We’re into different things. She’s really religious and I’m spiritual. I’m into health and fitness and she’s not. We don’t even like the same movies or shows. We spend a lot of time apart and eventually I met a woman who I have more in common with. It’s just easier to have an affair than to start over and it’s been working for me. I don’t hate my wife, in fact I still care a lot about her, and I don’t want to hurt her, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t happy with my life right now”.
Eric, 37, married 6 years
“I’m going to be honest, I just love the chase. At first, I just wanted to see if I still “had it”. Could I still take a girl home? My wife is amazing. She’s beautiful and down to earth. We have a lot in common. It’s not her, it’s me. I’ve always been this way. Maybe I have issues that stem from my childhood, I don’t know. Maybe it sounds like BS. But, it’s the only way I know how to be.”
Matt, 29, married 3 years
“I cheated on my wife before we were married. I was drunk and out with my friends and she eventually found out. I remember how mad she was and how heartbroken she seemed. I thought right then and there, that was it. It was over. But after a few days she came over and said she forgave me. I was shocked. I was so happy to have her back that I proposed. We got married a few months later. Two years into our marriage, I began having an affair with the same woman again. It just happened. It was easy to pick up where we left off. If I’m honest, I really don’t think my wife would leave me if she caught me cheating again. She wouldn’t want to lose me to this particular woman, she would feel defeated”.
William, 39, married 9 years
“I just have a lot of time on my hands and a very trusting wife”.
Cash, 42, married 16 years
“I have never been around a man who hasn’t been a cheater. I hate to say something stupid like it’s peer pressure but in a way, yeah, that’s what it is. When I’m out with my friends, no one cares about who’s married and who’s not. We kind of hang out to do things we shouldn’t. Why else would a bunch of guys go to Mexico alone for a week?”.
Thomas, 41, married 11 years
“In a perfect world, I could be honest with my wife. And I know a lot of people think, why not marry a swinger or be in an open relationship? I’ll tell you why. I’ve always wanted to have a family—-the wife and kids, the whole thing. But it’s hard to find a woman who you want to be the mother of your children but who will also let you do whatever the f*ck you want. It doesn’t always work out that way. I love my wife. I don’t love these other women. But this is what makes me happy”.
Joe, 46, married 17 years
“I found my high school sweetheart on Facebook and that’s the whole problem”.
Mark, 30, married 7 years
“I cheated on my wife with a coworker a few years ago. She just kept flirting with me and I eventually couldn’t help myself. The affair lasted about a year before my wife found out. When she found out I was devastated. I immediately regretted cheating. She moved out. I kept calling her and begging her to forgive me. A week later she moved back in and said she forgave me. I felt lucky for a second chance. But every day since then all we have done is fight. She’s followed me to work a few times and is always checking my phone. I fell back into my old habit but I’m just smarter about it now. Even though she’s more suspicious and on top of things, she doesn’t realize she’s just making me more cautious. I really don’t like that I cheat on her. But, I’m not happy and yet I can’t leave”.
Cory, 32, married 6 years
“My wife and I basically live separate lives. We’re so busy with work, the kids, our friends and family that we’re lucky if we get to spend any time together at all. When we are alone, we’re on our phones or she falls asleep. She doesn’t even notice I’m around even less lately. I’m cheating on her because we both just seemed to grow apart and no one really cares. I don’t want a divorce but I don’t feel satisfied with my marriage either. I just think we got married too soon because we had kids together”.
Alex, 38, married 18 years
“I have always been like this. I cheated on my wife and have been caught 2 times already. We’ve been to counseling. I just hide it better now. It’s not really about sex or because it’s exciting, at least not for me. I think it just boosts my confidence when someone still wants to be with me even if it’s in secret. And honestly, I think it’s possible to be in love with multiple people at once and that’s what’s happening.”
(All photos from Giphy.com)
Now there’s a new meaning to “it’s not you, it’s me”.
I will be interviewing cheating wives next! Stay tuned!