Doubling dating seems like a win-win on the surface. You’re able to spend time with your significant other as well as your friends instead of having to choose, which is important especially when you have a busy life. Plus there are a ton of studies that suggest that doubling dating actually has a positive affect on your relationship. But why doesn’t anyone ever mention how hard it is to find the right couple to double date with? It goes with out saying that finding your true love can be a long process filled with pain and setbacks even if you find love at a young age you’re likely to endure heartbreak. So it should come as no surprise that finding a couple that compliments your lifestyle may be just as difficult. Here are reasons finding the right couple to double date with is hard AF.
Now more than ever people are working nontraditional hours. With demanding careers, children, chores and errands it can be so difficult to find a couple that can fit into that small window of time that you have available to go out and have some fun. If you’re more unavailable than available some couples will drop you or think you’re simply not interested in their friendship.
2. Money, money, money, monaaaaay.
We all know that the number one reason for divorce has been financial issues for as long as I can remember and it’s also a top reason that double dating has become difficult. If you’re lucky enough to find a couple that are available during the same days/times that you two are unfortunately they may not be financially available. Date nights are not always cheap, even a simple dinner and a movie can add up. If you’re hanging out with a couple that’s on a budget or simply…cheap, you may find yourself footing the bill or paying the larger chunk of the check. Nothing is more annoying than debating who owes what when the check comes or having to explain the importance of tipping the waitstaff. My husband and I once had a couple that would only pay for what they ate down to the cents and didn’t consider tax or tip. Things got really weird and we never went out with them again.
3. Monkey in the middle.
When you hang out with a couple often enough, it’s understandable that the four of you become close. And sometimes when you’re really close with someone you become really comfortable. Usually this is great. You get to be yourself and talk openly and honestly but uhh…sometimes things can get awkward. Of course you want your friends to be able to confide in you but some couples take it too far. You may find yourself in between their arguments and might even be asked to choose a side. It’s never fun when you’re out at dinner and your friends are fighting right in front of you guys especially if it gets heated or ugly. Choosing a side is dangerous. I can’t tell you how many couples have fought in front of my husband and I and it never gets easier.
4. Misery needs company.
I think we all can agree that hanging around people that are negative and refuse to do anything about it, can affect your mood tremendously. Being around negative energy can really bring you down. So it should be obvious that being around a really unhappy couple in an unhealthy relationship could have the possibility of rubbing off on you. Sometimes talking to couples that seem to be headed for divorce can cause us to worry that we will end up the same way. And sometimes this couple may try to point out similarities in your relationship so that they are not alone. We can unintentionally stir up issues in our own relationships because of insecurity. Now I’m not saying you can only hang out with perfect couples, because let’s be honest they don’t exist, but if you’re around couples that don’t respect each other or seem to be falling apart, sometimes misery needs company and they can cause you to focus on the bad more than the good parts of your relationship. You don’t want to hang out with a couple that seems to enjoy making up and breaking up or a couple that handles their disagreements publicly and in an immature manner. Some of these relationships are like sinking ships that’ll take you down with them.
5. What’s right for the goose isn’t always right for the gander.
So, you find the perfect couple to double date with, right? But, there’s one problem. Your significant other doesn’t like them or doesn’t click with them. It’s really hard to find a couple you BOTH can agree on. And I’m sure the other couple may be scoring the two of you as well.
6. Bitch, don’t kill my vibe.
So, let’s say you get through all of the red tape and you find a couple that’s available during the right day and time, they’re able to afford the occasional outing, and you both like them a lot. Now all you have to do is decide on something to do. Shouldn’t be too difficult right? Wrong. You’re idea of a fun night may be totally different to there’s and you may not share similar tastes in food or movies.
No couple will be exactly like you two. You may notice obvious differences right away when double dating with another couple and sometimes it may make you wonder if they’ve got it more together than you guys do. Kind of the way we compare our lives to people on social media or celebrities because we think they have perfect lives based on their perfect pictures, we can find ourselves doing the same when couples show a ton of PDA or act as though things are always great. Or worse, we think there relationship is ideal when it’s not and start to notice flaws in our own. My husband and I once double dated with a couple who were constantly fighting and dealing with infidelity. The wife unfortunately compared her relationship to ours and took it out on her husband. It was a mess.
Although I don’t fully agree with this one, stranger things have happened and some of you have claimed this as a reason you no longer double date. Sometimes you may find yourself in a love triangle. There’s always a chance that a friendship may blossom into a crush or infatuation. Sometimes someone may develop feelings even if it’s not mutual.