Take a look at Instagram and you’ll see a slew of happy moms and smiling babies. Social media has become this over-edited, photoshopped glimpse into our lives. We overthink our captions we count likes and we want everyone that is looking to know that we’re fine. Everything is just fine, right? I remember when my daughter was a newborn, my only connection to the outside world was my cellphone and therefore social media. I’d scroll and scroll every chance that I got—-while pumping, when my daughter was napping and I couldn’t, and sometimes while I was rocking her to sleep. It was the summer of 2016 and I felt sick to my stomach that every other mom seemed to have it together and seemed to be enjoying the summer while I was crying and alone. I was so tired that I’d give just about anything to sleep and so behind on chores that I didn’t have a moment to myself. I was buried under laundry and dishes while struggling to exclusively pump and care for a newborn who would not latch. My perfect image of motherhood was fading before my eyes. Things have definitely gotten better but I think back on that time now and again and then I start thinking about all of the moms scrolling through their feed and I want them to know, you’re not alone. Motherhood is terrifying, hard, and sometimes lonely. It’s not what social media portrays it to be. And so I asked moms to share their hardest days as moms so far, because you’re not the only one who’s having a moment.
“Ugh, where do I begin? Mine has always been that newborn phase and trying to get baby to latch. I’m engorged, the kid is starving and sh*t is not working. I always say at least for me breastfeeding takes a good 3-4 weeks before we get rhythm and even then with my first it never worked so I ended up exclusively pumping.” – Alec @motherhoodinmotion
“There’s been so many hard days as a mom. It’s hard to narrow it down but I guess, my first rough day sticks out the most. It was the day my mother went back home (who lives in another state) and a few days after that, my husband returned to work. It was the first time I was alone with my son. It was also the first hint that I had postpartum depression. Sometime in the afternoon my son kept crying and refused to latch. I tried pumping and giving him milk in a bottle and he refused it. I didn’t know what was going on. I kept checking his temperature and rocking him and nothing was working. I started crying and in that moment I regretted becoming a mom. I felt so alone and like an idiot for not being able to figure out what was wrong with him. Eventually he latched and went back to being “normal” and when he fell asleep, I wanted to sleep too but had so many things to do. I cried and washed the dishes and I was so angry at myself for thinking I could wing motherhood and that it would be fun. I had many days like that afterwards and eventually got help.” Anonymous
“A few weeks after baby was born I had been sleeping on the couch with baby since he was waking so often, I broke down to my hubby about how hard it had been and how I just wanted one night to sleep in the same bed with him again!” Kassidy @kasserific
“My hardest day as a mom actually happened two days after my son was born. He came down with a fever, we rushed him to the hospital where they told us he needed a spinal tap 😭I was a roller coaster of postpartum emotions. He had staph of the blood. I cried the whole day. That was the hardest day of being a mom. I hope to never have a day like that again.” Cyndi @themhoffers
“I remember this day so vividly! My daughter was around three months old and I was waiting for my husband to get home from work. Normally when he gets home I let him eat and shower before I give him the baby but I swear I was about to pass out and needed him to take her ASAP. But then he texted me and said he would be an hour or two late. I fell to the floor and just cried. I just did three loads of laundry, washed the dishes for the fifth time that day, cleaned spit up off of the couch and floor, and was dealing with my daughter being really fussy because she was teething or something. And on top of all of that I was trying to whip up dinner. I just wanted help or a break from change, feed, rock to sleep! I cried and cried and then just tried to comfort myself with the thought that he’d be home soon. But deep down, I knew even when he would get home I’d just get enough time for a shower and my husband would be too tired to really do much. When my husband got home that night I cried in the shower.” -Anonymous
“My hardest days were the first few weeks after I had my son. I have a 2 year old girl and now almost 4 month old son. But those early days are a blur. But I clearly remember today’s shenanigans. This morning while I was getting the kids dressed to go to the grocery store, as soon as I changed my son, he had a diaper blowout. Ok, no big deal. As I’m changing his diaper I turned and saw my daughter splashing her hands in a puddle of water on the floor. “Where did that water come from?” That’s when I remembered she had no diaper on. She had peed on the floor and was splashing it around the room! I was still determined to get to the store. We managed to get through our weekly store run with the help of lollipops, chips for my toddler, and my son was happy to be strapped in the carrier on my chest. As we were leaving the store, I stopped to nurse my son in the car before pulling off. As I was feeding him I heard another diaper blowout!! Oh well, “Let’s change it and go,” I said to myself. As I was changing his diaper he peed all over me 😳. Luckily I was headed home anyway. Fast forward past lunch and nap time to when my daughter woke up from her nap. She had taken off her pull-up while in the crib. When my husband went to get her, she had pooped. In. The. Crib! 🙄 Since then both kids seem to have mellowed out a bit. But after today my patience was stretched pretty thin. I am glad I managed to get in a good afternoon nap though. Both babies were asleep so I had time to rest and mentally regroup. Praying for no more surprises today.” Christina @coach_mom_wife_life
“My hardest day, though there were so many, was probably my first. I knew I had to have a c-section and I let go of the guilt associated with that but when my daughter didn’t latch I felt like a failure. My birth plan had been tossed because of issues and that hurt a lot but breastfeeding was the last thing I had hoped would go as planned. My daughter not only did not latch but the nurses told me that her blood sugar levels were low and that I needed to give her formula. She drank like a champ and I felt terrible. I kept trying and trying but she just wanted the bottle. The nurses were not much help. I kept asking if I should pump and they all said no. If not for the Internet, I would have never known about exclusively pumping. I felt like no one was listening to me or helping. Eventually I went to a breastfeeding class at the hospital and started pumping every two hours. It was so hard because there were so many doctors and nurses and visitors. I was tired and overwhelmed yet trying to figure this whole pumping thing out.” Yasmine @themarryingtype
“When my son was about six months old I was rocking him to sleep while my husband was putting laundry away. A car drove by and was playing loud music that woke my son and I had to start all over again. The song reminded me of a movie my husband and I went to see when I was pregnant. It was our last date-night. I started to tear up because even though my husband was a room away, I felt like I hadn’t seen him in years. My son was crying and I was crying. In that moment I realized how much had changed and even though I feel so guilty now, at that time I missed my life before motherhood. That first year was harder than I ever thought it would be.” -Anonymous
If you are suffering from postpartum depression or anxiety please talk you your doctor!