7 reasons why I wish I skipped a bridal party.
I don’t know if there’s a bridal party curse or not but something is going on. I’ve surveyed my followers and ask those I’m closest to and well, myself included, and most have said that they wish they never had a bridal party—-bridesmaids, maid of honor and groomsmen, the whole thing. And though most of us have big and small regrets about our big day, this one is perplexing. Sure, budgets get tossed and we may go overboard and we can’t control the weather but aren’t we supposed to rely on our bridal party for help and support? Or is this just a dated ritual that we need to toss? If you’re a bride-to-be take notes, because most of us regret going with tradition and choosing to have a bridal party. And here’s why…
1. Hurt bae.
Let’s face it, it feels like you’re choosing a team for dodgeball and it’s high school all over again. No one wants to be picked last or not at all. And when choosing a bridal party there’s always a risk of hurting someone’s feelings if you don’t choose them or if you chose them to be apart of your bridal party but it’s not the position they think they deserved (maid of honor or best man). It’s almost as though it’s designed from the beginning to cause tension. Regardless of how you choose or who you choose it can feel like a popularity contest.
2. Broke bae.
No one mentions this enough but being apart of a bridal party is expensive, I get it.I tried my best to be considerate of this. I remember trying to choose the cheapest dresses and suites but coming up empty. I also worked around every one else when choosing what to do for my bachelorette party. It was already time consuming and stressful to consider my own budget but having to worry about others was a whole new kind of panic. Although I tried to be as open as possible and tried to get the ladies in my party to help choose the dresses and activities they liked and could afford, there were still complaints afterwards. There were disagreements regardless of how I tried to manage it.
3. I volunteer as tribute!
It’s strange, why do we have to give titles in order to have support and help during our big day and why does the brunt of the responsibility fall on such a small group of people anyway? It’s stressful. Shouldn’t our closest friends and family members offer the help that they can provide without a title? My maid of honor did way less than my bridesmaids yet I later found out my bridesmaids were not too happy about picking up the slack. There’s this war between bridesmaids–some do more than others and sometimes it causes a strain. I wouldn’t want someone to ever feel obligated in that way ever again just because of a temporary title. What I mean to say, it’s better to make a list of the things you need help with and have those that can help or are willing to help sign up for what they want to rather than your bridal party feeling overwhelmed. It felt like towards the end everyone ran out of steam.
4. Can we photoshop this?
If you lose touch or have a falling out, they’re in your photos forever. Yeah, forever-ever.
5. Cinderella affect.
You’re bound to have some one show some signs of envy. Cinderella had to deal with wicked step-sisters and a step-mother and they tried everything to ruin her chances at happiness. Although this is a fairytale, unfortunately weddings do have the same affect on people in real life. It stirs up all kinds of emotions especially jealousy. Worse, it usually comes from someone you never would’ve expected.
6. Can’t we all just get along?
So, you choose the people you’re closet to or perhaps hope to eventually become close to (in-laws) and you would think that would mean they’d all play nicely with one another, right? Not always. Again, some may be unhappy about the money and time they’re spending while others may feel like they’re doing more than they signed up for. There may even be competition amongst the bridesmaids. Stranger things have happened.
7. Too many chefs in the kitchen.
Having a bridal party may seem like a good idea because you’ll have those that you’re closest to right by your side just in case you may need anything. But it also means more decisions and more conversations that need to happen. Choosing color schemes and pairing each bridesmaid with a groomsmen sounds easy but every one has an opinion, a budget, and a preference and not listening means you’re a bridezilla but trying to make everyone happy is impossible. Also, you have to work with everyone’s schedules and lifestyles in order to get things done. Someone is bound to be late, busy, or a no-show for important moments. And you’re bound to hurt feelings when you make final decisions.
What else would you add to the list?
*Images courtesy of Giphy.com